To save Li the trouble of starting a new thread for each of his (Excellent, I must say!!) WC/England related jokes, I have taken it upon myself to open up a thread where we can all copy and paste said funnies, as and when appropriate ....or not, as the case may be!

Therefore, I declare this official WC2010 joke thread well and truly open.....



After his cock-up in our opening game, Robert Green took in some shot stopping practice. Of the 1,850 shots taken against him, not one of them went in.
At the end of the session, Green and Heskey re-joined the rest of the squad.





Following the recent intrusion into the England dressing room by a disgruntled fan, the players have voiced their concerns.
"I can't believe how easy this fan got past the very person whose sole job it is to stop such a thing happening" said Robert Green.

that 1st one is tops.
BTW is this an attempt to curtail my post count & poster of the world cup campagin???

here you go
Don't you just wish John
Terry had shagged Rob Green's wife .........


Apparently the whole of the England team are behind Robert Green…..well that is the best place for them to stand!!



The England Team have been warned to be careful in South Africa and have been given jabs to protect them from virus and disease whilst on African
soil.
Robert Green was however exempt, there is no risk of him catching anything

Appropriate place for this it seems...

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed
an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.

He stopped and asked, "Can you manage, dear?"

To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this mess - don't ask me to sort it out!"

All future televised England games have been moved to the Gay channel.
Apparaently the sight of 11 Arseholes frequently getting hammered for 90 minutes is too much for reular tv.

Oxo are binging out a new cube with white foil and a red cross.
It's called laughing stock.

One morning, the seven dwarfs went to work in the mine.
When Snow White went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.
Tearfully, Snow White shouts down the mine shaft, "Hello! Is anyone there? Can you hear me Sneezy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc, Happy and Bashful?"
A voice floats up from the bowels of the mine: "England will win the 2010 World Cup."
"Thank goodness," says Snow White, "at least Dopey's still alive!"

Q: What does an England fan do when his team has won the World Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

I thought this was the joke thread!!

A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence­ was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England National Football Team, whom the boy firmly­ believes are not capable of beating anyone!

FRANCE

This world cup has turned out like the WW I and II ..... the French
surrendered early, the Italians flip flopped and came last, Japan is
taking no prisoners, the USA made it last minute and we are left to
fight the freakin Germans ...... lets hope the result is the same 2 - 0

3 of the england team managed to land a punch on the angry supporter
who broke into the changing room,
a clear case of the shit hitting the fan!

Someone sent me this, Eboue taking the rise

In an effort to further anger America, Ghana has adopted Rick Astley's "Never Ghana Give You Up" as their national anthem.

Engerland

David Blaine got angry when he found out that his record for sitting in a box and doing nothing for 42 days had been broken by Wayne Rooney.



At the press conference before the Germany match Capello was asked whether he was going 442. He said that he was going 747 because the seats were better and there was more leg room.

What goes 'Beep Beep Beep Beep'?
The England open top bus reversing back into the garage for another 42 years!!!






Severe weather warning: A shower of shit coming in from South Africa.

The England players have been approached by Hollywood Producers

They want them to star in a re-make of "Out of Africa"

Fabio Capello has set up a friendly match against Iceland to try to cheer the fans up. If we beat them we go on to play Tesco's and Sainsbury's!!!!

chicken wrote:Fabio Capello has set up a friendly match against Iceland to try to cheer the fans up. If we beat them we go on to play Tesco's and Sainsbury's!!!!

That ASDA be one of the best yet! Perhaps if I tried a LIDL harder, you would have MORRISONS to give me top MARKS!

FOR SALE:

1 open top bus, mint condition, used just once in 44 years, one careful driver, £50 O.N.O, contact the FA for futher details.